Category Archives: BLOG

TRANSITIONING THROUGH THE FOUR LEVELS OF COMPETENCES

Hi there! Have you observed that whenever you are trying to do something for the first time – something as routine as trying to tie your shoelace, walking for the first time or other things like starting out on a new project, learning a new skill, starting a new business and so on- there are four stages that you go through. These stages are also called the four levels of competences and they apply consciously or unconsciously.

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The first stage is the stage of UNCONSCIOUS INCOMPETENCE. At this stage, you are not even aware that the skill you are trying to learn or the activity you are trying to do exists. You don’t know anything about it yet.

The next stage is the stage of CONSCIOUS INCOMPETENCE. At this stage, you are now aware that the skill you are trying to learn exists but you still have not mastered it yet. Here, you only suddenly realize that there is indeed something you do not know or something that you have not mastered.

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At the next stage which is called the stage of CONSCIOUS COMPETENCE, you have submitted yourself to the demands of learning that skill and you are beginning to get familiar with it. The draw back however is that you still require a lot of time and attention to operate the skill or to do the activity.

The final stage is the stage of UNCONSCIOUS COMPETENCE. At this stage, you have attained mastery and you do the activity without conscious thought. It does not take you so much time and attention, compared to what it took you before, to get the activity done.

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Sometimes, the transition through the four stages may feel like a demanding process but you just have to stick it out. Do not forget that in the race between the stream and the rock, the stream wins not because of strength but because of persistence.

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YOU WERE NOT RAISED YOU WERE ERASED

My parent raised me with severe corporal punishment, therefore I will discipline my child using corporal punishment.

The above phrase is what most African parents use as their justification for the use of corporal punishment on their children, student or ward. Some parents further argue that the use of corporal punishment on them has made them who they are today. I often ask the question “Who are you now? What has corporal punishment made you become? The answer I often get is that- corporal punishment has made me very disciplined and focused in life. Yet, you are not as successful as you’ve always wanted to be in life, you are not a trust worthy person. Wait… do you think the children raised without corporal punishment are ill-mannered? I bet not, because the societies that are against corporal punishment are the world leading countries with less violence. We need to understand that violence and discipline are two different things. When you decide to make it a norm then you have decided to accept violence such as killing, fighting, slaughtering, raping, bullying and all other forms of violence into the society.

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I laugh really hard when I meet monster parents and not disciplined parents. How can a mother cut her child’s skin or whip the child until he/she faint🤨. The joy that some parents have when they instill fear or pain on their children is alarming. As a parent there is a certain period when you can no longer instill fear on that child, the reverse becomes the case and then, how will that make you feel?

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A child who thinks he/she was raised properly with corporal punishment was not raised but erased, because, that child grew up in fear without been able to make certain decisions or give opinions that affects his/her life. A child is not irrelevant, we need to understand that children are also humans and are kept in the care of an adult to guide them positively not abuse them.

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Feel free to share this blog post with friends, family and acquaintances. Also, share your thought or opinion in the comment section below.


5 PLACES I WOULD LOVE TO VISIT

Visiting new places is something I am always excited about. However, there are limitations to where I/we can visit. This is either due to financial reason or others. Here are 5 places that I would love to visit, they are all unique and I hope one or two or all of them is/are also place(s) you would love to visit.

Dubai

Dubai is the most populous city in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). I am fascinated about the heritage and tradition of Dubai. The lifestyle is definitely something I would love to experience, especially the shopping aspect. The world’s tallest building (Burj Khalifa) is an attraction I would love to see and take pictures of. Other places I would love to visit in Dubai are: the Nemo Watersports, Oasis Adventures and Sonara Camp, and Dubai Aquarium &Underwater zoo.

Bangkok, Thailand

An ancient Asian city. Bangkok is the most populous city and capital of Thailand. The museums and architecture are places I will be looking forward to seeing. I love heritage places such as Jim Thompson House. The floating markets is captivating as I have never had an experience of that before. Other things I would love to do are: buy the traditional clothes and take pictures with them, visit the roof top bars, and lastly, order some traditional food especially Thai-style stir-fried noodles.

Venice, Italy

It is dreamy and romantic. It is also called floating city because of the fact that the city of Venice consists of 118 small islands connected by several bridges and canals. I would love to go on the canal tour to enjoy the beautiful scenery. It would be amazing to be here with a spouse or partner and order a classic cocktails such as Bellini.

Seychelles

I have always loved Seychelles, the serenity is astonishing. The island is a living natural history museum and I would love to visit Vallee de Mai National Park, the forest walk and definitely eat in this lovely environment. One scary thing I would love to do is diving and hopefully I don’t get to scream out the name ‘Jesus’ or my parent names.

Santorini, Greece

Santorini is a Greek island in the southern Aegean Sea. I’d love to go hiking, visit the famous red beach, go to eros beach, buy some sea food and fresh fish.

It would be great to hear your opinion. Kindly let us know your thoughts about the places you would love to visit or have visited. This will help me and readers to decide on places to visit or enlighten us more.


5 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT SAY TO SOMEONE

We say certain things that we do not realize how much it/they hurt the other person.

Below are the reasons why I highlighted these 5 things:

  1. When you tell someone they cannot do it, you make them feel less of a person or discouraged. Yes, it might be true that they can’t do it but there are better ways to tell the person without hurting their feelings and also explaining to them why you think or know they can’t do it.
  2. When you tell someone I paid a lot of money for that, you are indirectly rude and the person may feel that they do not befit that item or might instill fear. Honestly, you have every right to tell someone about how important an item is to you but try to be more courteous.
  3. The third one is very funny. I have witnessed someone ask someone else that question in public to be specific. Most people laughed about it but it was literally not funny, the lady felt very embarrassed about the question as she just had her fourth child. This is a sarcastic question, we shouldn’t ridicule people indirectly.
  4. AGE!!! This has been a very controversial topic. Research has proven that most people find it rude when you ask them about their age especially when you are trying to prove a point. Example is if someone is eating both hands and you ask ‘how old are you again?’ You are indirectly telling the person he/she is acting like a child.
  5. The last one is why are you still single. Excuse me, is the person meant to provide a boyfriend/girlfriend for herself. Do we all have to be in a relationship? You can advise your friend about relationships but not in a condemning way.

Feel free to share your thoughts about this and share to people.

Educate, Advocate, Inspire, Lifestyle

EVERYONE’S JOURNEY IS DIFFERENT

A short letter to you…

Dear friend,

I understand that sometimes life takes a toll on us and we feel that we are backwards or have not achieved what we want or wanted to have achieved but trust me you are not alone. Sometimes, I feel down, I feel disappointed at myself, I have previously felt that I could have done better in an examination and wondered if my mates who had the best of grades had 2 heads or even after a job interview, but over time I have gotten to understand this phrases “WORRYLESS” and “COMPARE LESS”.

Life is not a competition except if you make it one for yourself. The moment you started comparing your progress to another persons progress then you pursuing your destruction or affecting your mental health. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to have a role model or people we aspire to be like, but, that is different from chasing your friends dreams just because you are 30 years old and do not have a car and your friend is 30 years old with 2 cars or You are 20 years old and have not graduated from college and your friend is 18 years old and have graduated from college. My dear friend, there is nothing wrong with that and regardless of the situation, it doesn’t make you less of a better that you are. Remember that there is a difference between self-evaluation and self-comparison.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

by Theodore Roosevelt

Life is a journey that entails different obstacles, joys, moments, celebrations, hardships and any other thing you can think of. In this life journey, it is never smooth. Therefore, my dear friend please stay focused, show gratitude, set your goals right and live the best of it.

If you need to talk to me, feel free to fill the contact form.

You are awesome.

From,

Tobi.


Educate, Advocate, Inspire, Lifestyle