Category Archives: SOCIAL JUSTICE ADVOCATE

TEACHER BEATS YAHAYA NUHU ALIYU TO DEATH OVER FAILURE TO DO HOMEWORK

Mrs. Dorcas Gibson, a teacher at Federal Government College, Kwali reportedly beat a 13 year-old, J.S.S.2 boarding student for failure to do his homework. Incidentally, the victim of corporal punishment, Yahaya Nuhu Aliyu, Yahaya Nuhu Aliyu was the grandson to the late Aliyu Mohammed, a former Secretary to the Government of the Federation. Prior to the teacher’s entry into the class, the deceased had initially gone to the school’s clinic to receive treatment but he could not be attended to on the basis that he had not eaten anything that day. The reason adduced by Yahaya Nuhu Aliyu for failing to do his assignment was that he was indisposed, yet, his teacher would not have his excuse, rather she initially asked the boy to remove weed as a punishment. After the pupil had observed this punishment, she consistently beat him on his head with the metal handle of a bucket until he slumped and died.[1]

The incident occurred during period eight on August 9, 2021. The school, where the incident occurred, Federal Government College, Kwali is located in Nigeria’s Federal Capital Territory, Abuja. Narrating the incident, one of the classmates of Yahaya said, “During Period 8, Mrs. Gibson entered and requested for assignment submissions. Yahaya and I failed to submit and as a result she ordered us to take out weed. Yahaya had informed the teacher he was ill and didn’t do the assignment. Nevertheless, she ordered us to clear the weeds, after which we returned to class. His head was resting on the desk due to the illness but she severely beat him on the head with a metal bucket handle  until he passed out.”

After the teacher left the class, Yahaya Nuhu Aliyu put his head on the table and remained still. This attracted the attention of his colleagues who called for assistance from the school authorities. He was taken to Rema Clinic where he was confirmed dead. This sparked off reactions from his classmates who took to the school’s premises in protest. Although the school (Federal Government College, Kwali) initially denied responsibility, by insisting that Yahaya Nuhu Aliyu died of malaria, a meeting was convened on August 11 and 13 where the school owned up. The school also begged the parents of the late Yahaya Nuhu Aliyu to forgive and forget, insisting that fact finding would only lead to displeasure.

Reacting to the incident, spokesperson of Nigeria’s Federal Ministry of Education, Ben Goong, noted that the ministry had visited the parents of the victim of corporal punishment and had inaugurated a committee to investigate the alleged murder.[2] In a similar vein, Engineer, Musa Ibrahim, the National President of Federal Government Kwali Old Students Association (FEDGOKOSA) acknowledges the severity of the incident, noting further that it had the capacity to smear the good name and image of the school. He also promised to leave no stone unturned in ensuring that justice is done to all the parties concerned. In his words, “Since Sunday night up till this moment, it’s been calls, consultations, clarifications with different personalities ranging from the Father, Principal, deceased relatives and the list goes on, all these geared towards unraveling the fact on what caused the demise of our son, which has also smeared the integrity of our dear school… Be assured of NEC’s resolve to ensure that justice is done to our Son, his father and FGC Kwali that we rightly cherish.”[3] There has however been no publicized report from the Ministry of Education and the alumni association of the school.

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The incidence however calls for a revisiting of the posture of the Nigerian legal system to corporal punishment. Chapter 25 of the Nigerian Criminal Code provides thus:

            “A blow or other force, not in any case extending to a wound or grievous harm, may be justified for the purpose of correction as follows….a father or mother may correct his or her legitimate or illegitimate child, being under sixteen years of age, or any guardian or person acting as a guardian, his ward, being under sixteen years of age, for misconduct or disobedience to any lawful command….[and] may delegate to any person whom he or she entrusts permanently or temporarily with the governance or custody of his or her child or ward all his or her own authority for correction, including the power to determine in what cases correction ought to be inflicted; and such a delegation shall be presumed, except in so far as it may be expressly withheld, in the case of a schoolmaster or a person acting as a schoolmaster, in respect of a child or ward.”

This provision certainly gives impetus to caregivers and school teachers to inflict corporal punishment on children and there is a need for it to be expunged. This is because it is difficult to control and curtail the passion that comes with the infliction of harm on young children once the action of corporal punishment has been set in motion. In most cases, the damage done to young people as in the case of Nuhu Aliyu above is clearly disproportionate and irreparable. A clear abolition of corporal punishment is what is advocated for to further save innocent souls like Nuhu Aliyu. Doing this will shift Nigeria into the categories of countries who have fully protected children from corporal punishment which instills fear. Presently, only 8% of African children have been fully protected from corporal punishment.[4]

REFERENCES

Abass Latifat, “Teacher Beats Student to Death over Homework” blackboxnigeria.com/teacher-beats-student-to-death-over-homework accessed on September 18, 2021

Adekunle Dada, “Teacher Reportedly Beats Student to Death in Abuja” Within Nigeria News; www.withinnigerua.com/news/2021/08/16/teacher-reportedly-beats-student-to-death-in-/abuja/amp>accessed on 18 September 2021

Grace Udofia, “Teacher Beats 13-Year-Old Student to Death in Abuja”; http://www.the heritagetimes.com/teacher-beats-13-year-old-student-to-death-in-abuja/ accessed on September 18, 2021

Kess Ewubare, “FG Reacts to Alleged Beating of Student to Death in Abuja” Legit; legit.ng/1430161/-fg-reacts-to-alleged-beating-of-student-to-death-in-abuja.html> accessed on September 18, 2021

Sahara Reporters, New York, “13-Year-Old Abuja Schoolboy Dies After Flogging By Teacher” www.saharareporters.com/2021/08/17/13-year-old-abuja-schoolboy-dies-after-flogging-by-teacher> accessed on September 18, 2021


[1] Adekunle Dada, “Teacher Reportedly Beats Student to Death in Abuja” Within Nigeria News; www.withinnigerua.com/news/2021/08/16/teacher-reportedly-beats-student-to-death-in-/abuja/amp

[2] Kess Ewubare, “FG Reacts to Alleged Beating of Student to Death in Abuja” (August 19, 2021) Legit; legit.ng/1430161/-fg-reacts-to-alleged-beating-of-student-to-death-in-abuja.html

[3] Sahara Reporters, New York, “13-Year-Old Abuja Schoolboy Dies After Flogging By Teacher” (August 17, 2021) http://www.saharareporters.com/2021/08/17/13-year-old-abuja-schoolboy-dies-after-flogging-by-teacher

[4] Global Initiative to End all Corporal Punishment of Children (October 2015); “Prohibiting all Corporal Punishment of Children in Africa: Progress and Delay; www.endcorporalpunishment.org page 8


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GUESS WHY I WAS SLAPPED

I got into Junior Secondary School with so much excitement because I wanted to enjoy teenage age meeting new people outside my neighborhood, interact with children from various social and economic background, live away from home and test the strength of self-dependency at an early age and think to start a business as I come from background with lots of Medium scale entrepreneurs. My expectations on education, communication and learning were high and I could not wait for my first day as a junior secondary student in a boarding school.

I was enrolled in one of the best secondary schools in Lagos, Nigeria and the sad reality of school appraisals in Nigeria is limited to their educational strength based on teaching methods and academic performance in comparison with other schools. Such methods are not constructively appraised on the benefit on mental, intellectual and physical wellbeing of the child. My case was no different as I was a exhibit for testing poor disciplinary methods on children. My parents identified the good academic qualities of this school and once all admission requirement were settled, I became a proud student of Queens College in Lagos Nigeria and lived in school (i.e. the boarding house system that put high responsibility on the school management to cater for the day-to-day wellbeing of students).

The proclivities in this system of child discipline in Nigeria increases the chances and sustainability of corporal punishment based on student-to-student and student-to-teacher relationships as a culture of brutality to define a reputation of “seniority” and dominance within the student community is synonymous to an uncivilized people with intentions to maim and demoralize their peers. When a junior student is a victim of corporal punishment from student of teacher for 4-5 years and sees how it gives a pseudo status of respect, they are very likely to be conditioned to apply such means in defining their roles and status in the student community when they become senior students.

I became a boarding student due to the distance of my school from home. It was a long distance to cover even by car and the traffic in Lagos would double, if not triple the time required to arrive early at school each day. Like I mentioned, the boarding system relinquishes certain responsibilities from the parents to the school management on behalf of their children and this was one of many responsibilities the school would take up that would be less burdensome on my parents and I. The idea of independence was critical to my parents and they wanted to build me up from a young age to be self-reliant and depend less on them for small issues I could manage especially interpersonal relationship and making small decision.

This is a good decision every parent will want for their children and safe to say they wanted a child, regardless of her gender that remains undermined both in terms of equity and equality in Nigeria, to be solid in intellectually and courageous. Though the rules and regulations were alien, I had to live within them as I was excited of my new milestone. Some of the rules were very unimaginable and monstrous and looking back at how they were developed, reviewed and agreed in managing child educational and behavioral development, i really wonder what the definition of child safety and child rights is in Nigeria (I will not dwell on that in this post).

FOOD! FOOD!! FOOD!!! was the reason my house mistress slapped me. Funny but that was why I was slapped, and I will go into a bit of details on it. On this particular day, I went to my guardian’s house receive a call from my parent who had not seen me for some time and as their only child, I think their concerns to speak to me over the phone was valid. After the call, in a show of kind gesture, my guardian gave me food to eat and I ate with so much happiness (considering the quantity and quality (nutritional value) of the food compared to the rations we got from the dining hall, every student would eat her food. I might have been wrong or right to have eaten at my guardians’ house but I’m not too sure a student of a boarding school will blame me for wanting good food.

Anyways, we had a dormitory captain who gave report to the house mistress about certain activities. She reported to the house mistress stating I sometimes ate at my guardians’ and not from the dining hall. Looking back, I can only say she was jealous how my guardian treated me especially with good food. One day, while eating at my guardians’, my house mistress showed up to “discipline me”. I was very surprised and knew somebody gave me up (the snitching systems to attract favor). My house mistress asked what I was doing at my guardians’ place and I replied, “I came to eat dinner”. Her response was “you even have the gut to talk”. At that point, I became very scared and started shivering. She asked me the question again and after responding the same way, she slapped me. I burst into tears and tried to inquire the reason she slapped me, her response to my question was several wipes on my back and legs with a cane she was holding.

At that point my guardian rushed outside to manage the situation and stop her from flogging me. This made them get at each other, at least in words and I felt really sad and because I was slapped and flogged for wanting good food and putting my guardian in a bad situation because I had no idea the implication with the school authority. The fact that food, a core need of a child can be responding in a hostile manner makes me think deeply about children that live without food and how they are treated when they reach out to people that can help or how people that help are perceived by the society. The takeaway for me was that a gap within the social welfare programme of the school was identified and as a school responsible for children wellbeing including quality food, addressing the issue was core not how the student responded to her appetite especially when she did not steal or bully another student for their meal.

My house mistress reported the case to the Vice Principal, which attracted a warning letter from the school after inviting my parents to discuss the matter. The decision from the school management supported the use of violence through corporal punishment meted on me. The mental and physical effect left traumatized as I felt most vulnerable when my parents went home. I did not feel safe and that was not a concern of the school. The direct effect this had on me was I couldn’t speak for myself and always resorted to the help if my guardian, eliminating the goal of developing self-confidence and able to make small decisions on my life. I became more dependent and asking myself questions as “Did she really have to hit me?”, “Couldn’t she have just reported me to the management, if she felt I was wrong or tell me why I was expected to eat from the school dining hall?”.

Guess what, I did not stop going to have those delicious meals at my guardians’ despite the violence and I began taken my dormitory captain along after she apologized to me, we became friends afterwards. My enthusiasm against corporal punishment is that it does not solve the root problem of any poor behavior a child display. It only helps the child grow to understand that (s)he can only manage such root problems by herself/himself and those that do not accept her/his methods of managing root problems will react violently not because they are trying to lead acceptable socio-cultural behaviors but because they lack capacity of an effective way to salvage the problem bedeviling the child and this leads me to make my final comment on this post on corporal punishment. To any teachers, house mistresses, house masters, guardians and parents, the violence you preach is not the solution to the problem.

I was treated poorly because of food but The death of a 14-year-old schoolgirl in Abuja (Keren Akpagher) would have had worse experience. Kindly share your thoughts about this and more if you have similar experience.

The death of a 14-year-old schoolgirl in Abuja

How sad is it to know that Miss Keren-Happuch Akpagher, a 14-year-old student of Premiere Academy, Lugbe, Abuja died after a used condom was found in her on the 22nd of June, 2021.

The school matron, Mrs Grace Salami said “she was diabetic, sedated, tied on both hands and feet before death”. Therefore, she disagreed to the claim made by Akpagher family and said “condom is latex and it is not supposed to decay, and if it has been in her private part for days, the sperm cells should not be found in her urine”. This was said during her conversation with Vanguard.

The Principal said “No stone will be left unturned to arrest the perpetrators”

According to her friends, she couldn’t walk from the hostel to class and her friends helped her to write her test.

Keren-Happuch Akpagher mother told punch media that she called the principal to request the pick up of her daughter but she was discouraged after the principal told her that her daughter will need to isolate for 5 days when she returns. she said “I felt I should go home since the school said they could take care of her”. Her daughter called her back insisting on leaving the school as she has her reasons. So, Mrs. Akpagher went back to the school and Karen Akpagher was rushed to a private clinic called Queens Hospital in Wuse Zone 6, Abuja. According to the doctors and medical tests done, the discharge from Karen’s vagina was discovered to be a condom and her urine test was dead spermatozoa. After 2 days, Keren died and the death was as a result of hyperglycemia triggered by sepsis due to the condom found in her vagina.

The believe of Keren’s family is that Keren was sexually abused and her mother is demanding justice which the school is supportive about it and the case is been investigated by the police. However, the school matron does not believe she was sexually abused.

This is a really sorrowful news, we hope the investigation goes well and pray for justice if she was truly sexually abused.

TO PARENTS: TEACH WITHOUT VIOLENCE

It is funny how adults feel offended or upset when their fellow adult slaps them but they do not think about how a child feels when they slap them. YES, you are older than the child, YES, that is your child or YES, you are trying to correct the child or teach the child. These are some justifications for hitting a child but it is not justified when your fellow colleague or friend slaps you because they are correcting you.

The context of teaching a child without violence such as corporal punishment has been debatable over the years. Protagonists and Antagonists of Corporal punishment also known as Physical punishment agree to the same context that corporal punishment is to inflict pain on a child to curb a child’s behavior. However, in the argument of the Antagonists, the use of corporal punishment encourages a violent society by teaching us that the means of teaching, learning, correcting behavior is not effective without violence, hence, leading to an increase in aggressive people. In addition, there are several negative factors of the use of violence (corporal punishment) such as the mental health of the child and physical injuries which has led to the death of some children.

Whist I was (still) undergoing my doctoral research, I have understood that the term “violence” is very broad and some persons do not consider “corporal punishment” as a form of violence. Examples of violence against children are child slavery, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, negligence, violent psychological discipline, physical abuse (corporal punishment and many more. These examples are confirmed by the World Health Organization (WHO), UNICEF and some other international organization reports that are aimed at protecting or safeguarding children. At what point do we draw a line between the use of physical punishment and the excessive use of physical punishment? Some proponents have argued that the administration of corporal punishment (physical punishment) should be limited to certain numbers of strokes or flogging and on a particular part of a child’s body, that will not cause injuries or harm to a child.

Back in secondary school, I remember how the teachers whip us (the students) and this did not have a positive impact as we adapted to the violence and did not learn to stop the bad behavior, rather we found alternatives to avoid getting caught. A lot of students especially the senior students exhibited this act on the junior students and even their mates. This increased the rate of violence and aggression amongst friends, siblings and colleagues.

I strongly advice that the use of violence to discipline a child is not the best and it has been proven from several medical, psychological and social research.

Feel free to drop your opinion about the use of violence (corporal punishment) to discipline a child.

MYTHS ABOUT CHILD ABUSE

Yes, child abuse still occurs. I have highlighted 7 myths about child abuse below.

Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions I’m the comment section.

Do not forget to share, let’s create this awareness together.

THINGS YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT HUMAN RIGHTS: 15 Facts about Human Rights

Human rights are moral principles or norm that describes certain standards conducts of human behaviour which people from around the world have agreed are essential. 

1) Human rights are the total sum of civil, political, individual and collective rights in every states and countries of the world enshrined in their legslations and laws.

2) Human rights covers every aspect of a persons life.

3) Human Rights are inalienable, in other words, no person can be divested of his right. This is although subject to legal circumstances like where the person has committed an offence.

4) All of the Human rights are interwoven, indivisible and interrelated. One cannot be breached without affecting the other.

5) The Universal Declaration of Human Rights provides thirty (30) articles of Human rights.

6) Human Rights are universal as they apply to all people indiscriminately.

7) Human Rights serves as a check of abuse of power over the vulnerable.

8) According to an article titled “Human Rights Facts & Figures”, it was observed that women have been denied the knowledge,and freedom to act in the best interest of themselves and their children.

9) In “Abuses, Statistics, Child Abuse, Gang Violence & Child Soldiers”it was stated that worldwide there are about 246million child laborers.

10) The 10th of December is a set date for the celebration of human rights.

11) From the UN Declaration on Human rights, everyone is entitled holiday with a pay.

12) In Kazakhstan, Domestic violence is not an offence.While in Russia, there is no legal definition of domestic violence.

13) In 2018,the UN Human rights,WHO and UN women declared ” virginity testing” as violation of Human rights.

14)The Universal Declaration of Human Rights has been translated into nearly 400 languages, making it the most translated document in the world.

15) In 2011, access to the internet is declared a basic human right.

IMPACT OF THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC ON CHILD’S RIGHT

This is no longer only a global health crisis, it is also an economic crisis that is having a huge impact on people.”[1]

  • Guy Ryder, Director General, International Labour Organization

The Corona Virus Disease (COVID-19) is prevalent in more than 193 countries of the world today prompting the World Health Organization to  upgrade the status of Covid-19 from an epidemic to a global pandemic on March 11, 2020.[2]. Nigeria, the most populous black nation became the first African country to record a positive case of the virus from an Italian immigrant on February 25, 2020.[3]  The negative impacts of the pandemic are better left to the realm of imagination than the province of reality.

The world is clearly set to experience its worst depression only after The Great Depression of the 1930s.[4] Again, the international labour Organization estimates that over 25 million jobs and 3.4 trillion dollars will be lost in labour income world-wide while 100 million more people may be forced into extreme poverty.[5] This portends graver implications for a nation like Nigeria, which prior to the pandemic, was already the world’s poverty capital with a poverty rate of 33 percent.[6]

The begging question remains, what is the impact of the foregoing on child’s right? It does not take rocket science to realize that the child’s rights to life, survival and development which are guaranteed by Article 6 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child are significantly under threat. In this connection, Article 6 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child states, “State parties recognize that every child has the inherent right to life. State parties shall ensure to the maximum extent possible, the survival and development of the child.” With glaring poverty levels however, it becomes practically impossible to attain adequate nutrition, right to a healthy and safe environment, security and adequate standard of living which are sine qua non to achieving the right to life.

Again other rights like the child’s right to play, leisure and freedom of association has been affected as it has become practically impossible to keep in touch with friends and outside spaces for play are practically unavailable. There are however more serious implications than the foregoing. It is noteworthy that child trafficking, sexual exploitation and child labour are evils resulting from poverty, which has been brought about by this pandemic. In fact, the huge poverty occasioned by the pandemic is expected to increase child labour by 0.7 percent globally – an estimate that radically alters the prospects of reducing child labour for the first time in 20 years.[7]

Furthermore, another implication of the poverty occasioned by this pandemic is increase in child marriage; a.phenomenon that refers to giving out children below 18 years of age to adults as spouses. Already, 43 % of girls in Nigeria are married before their 18th year old birthday, crowning Nigeria as the 11th state where child marriage is highly operative.[8] The pandemic may however worsen this statistics because child marriages will be the most viable alternative for families on the fringes of survival. It becomes a typical example of “take my child while you give me food.” This position is corroborated by the United Nations Population Fund which has in fact estimated that an additional 13 million child marriages may take place over the next 10 years.[9]

Lastly, the child’s right against violence has been compromised by the pandemic. The huge poverty emanating from the pandemic can serve a triggering factor for frustration of adults and consequently, the infliction of violence on children. Sadly, incidents of violence and child abuse are less likely to be detected because of lockdown measures. The implication is that the infliction of violence will most likely be carried out covertly.

This situation is worsened in view of the fact that child protection agencies have reduced monitoring in order to avoid the spread of the virus and the ability of child protection institutions to respond adequately has been weakened. Already, more than 1 billion children are exposed to violence yearly.[10] With the pandemic however, this figure will be magnified and significantly increased. This is no doubt a threat to the actualization of Article 37 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child which states that: “State parties shall ensure that: (a) No child shall be subjected to torture or other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.”

In conclusion, in view of the grave havocs that COVID-19 and its concomitant poverty could wreck on child’s rights, it is imperative for governments to respond with positive laws and policies to ameliorate the looming economic dangers. The United States of America provides a ready example in this regard. She enacted her CARES (CoronaVirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security) Act under which 2.3 trillion dollars, amounting to 11 percent of the United States Gross Domestic Product was dedicated to providing one-time tax rebates to individuals, expanding unemployment benefits and providing food safety nets for the most vulnerable citizens as well as loans for small businesses. Also, under her Pay Check Protection Program and Health Care Enhancement Act, over 483 billion dollars was ear marked to assisting small businesses in the United States of America.[11] Developing countries like Nigeria could follow suit. This will significantly reduce poverty, whose effect is to threaten the rights of children.


[1] http://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/newsroom/news/WCMS_738742/lang–en/index.htm

[2] news.un.org/en/story/2020/03/1059261

[3] www.icirnigeria.org/report-nigerian-inmates-live-in-danger-amid-coronavirus-pandemic/amp

[4] http://www.cnbc.com/amp/2020/04/14/imf-global-economy-to-contract-by-3 percent-due-to-coronavirus.html

[5] http://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/newsroom/news/WCMS_738742/lang–en/index.htm

[6] tradingeconomics.com

[7] Najat Maalla M’jid, “Hidden scars: the Impact of Violence and the COVID-19 Pandemic on Children’s Mental Health” (2020) Journal of Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health https://campmh.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13024-020-00340-8

[8] http://www.girlsnotbrides.org/child-marriage/nigeria/

[9] United Nations Population Fund, “Impact of the COVID-19 Pandemic on Family Planning and Ending Gender-Based Violence and Child Marriage, UNFPA 2020.

[10] https://reliefweb.int/report/world/covid-19-and-children-s-rights

[11] http://www.imf.org/en/Topics/imf-and-covid19/Policy-Responses-to-COVID-19#U

CHILD ABUSE: The four main types

Child abuse is a harmful infliction of pain on a child, this pain can be inflicted by parents, teachers, care givers, family members and so on. According to Article 1 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the child, the convention defines a child as persons up to the age of eighteen. Child abuse may take different forms on a child, however, some persons are victims of more than one type of child abuse.

While growing up, I have been a victim to more than one of the types of child abuses, some were not intentional while some were intentional. Passing through the phase had its negative and positive impact in my life. I believe a lot of children have experienced one form of child abuse or the other.

According to the Centers for disease control and prevention, the types of child abuse are as follows:

  1. Physical Abuse: I presume this is the most common type of child abuse especially in developing and underdeveloped countries. The administrators of this type of abuses are ususally under stress or mental problems, employment/financial issues, have a history of abuse, etc, therefore, pouring out their frustration on innocent children. In addition, this type of abuse coud be administered by parents, teachers, school prefects, neighbors or any older person. This type of abuse includes torturing, excessive hitting or slapping, severe punishments, withdrawing the child from eating or sleeping
  2. Sexual Abuse: This is having sexual relations of any kind wih a child. This can be by touching seductively, penetration, watching illegal sexual contents, telling them dirty stories or jokes and so on. In this type of abuse, it is difficult to identify who to blame, either the parents for uneducating their children about sexual topics or for exposing them to neighbors or the perpetrators themselves for taking advantage of the child or the government for not providing enough protection for children or for not creating awareness about the rights of a child to fight against such act. It is not unheard of for parents to sexually abuse their children. If you are interested in more details about child seual abuse, I have a full blog post on child sexual abuse here.
  3. Emotional Abuse: This is a constant disregard for a child by using horrible words on them and making them feel worthless, unvaluabe and unloved. This can happen by mocking a child, Ignoring a childs participation, silent treatment, frequently yelling at a child, telling them they are mistake and of no good in life, bullying, preventing them from socializing with peers, makin the feel guilty and so on. Although, It usually does not start with one, it then becomes problematic when repeated severally. In this type of abuse, I presume the parents or abusers either lack the right parenting style, undergoing mental stress, use hard drugs, etc.
  4. Neglect: This is when a parent or care giver fails to meet up with the psychological, physical or nutritional needs of a child, which coud affect their health or development. This includes leaving a child alone to experience loneliness or harm, locking the child up in a room like a prisoner, not providing the basic needs of the child such as food, clothing, education and shelter.

It is important to note that you as an adult may be guilty of these acts in one way or ther other. We should always know that there are other ways to discipline or treat a child when they misbehave. The mental health of a child is very important.

Ways we can help are as follows:

  • Creating awareness for your children or student about appropriate and inappropriate behaviors such as sexual discussions. Teaching a child to know when to feel safe around a man and when not to.
  • Teaching a child how to seek help and knowing emergency contacts numbers off hand.
  • Open communication with your child is important, make the child feel comfortable around you, as this will make it easier to spot if anything unusual happens.
  • Adequate security is important in a family, making sure that the home is safe for a child especially when they will be left alone in the house.
  • Parents and care-takers should endevour to monitor their child/ children but be care not to over-encroach their personal space. It is important to know where they are, what they do, and who their friends are.
  • Having good relationship with people around you, especially people who look after your child/ children such as their teachers, carers, friends or parents of friends. This will always come useful in grooming and protecting a child in the best way.

Having said all that, I do hope you have learnt one or two things about child abuse as a lot of children are going through one or all of these types of abuses. Help a child.

Feel free to share so as to create awareness about child abuse, also feel free to drop your opinions or experiences in the comment section.


MYTHS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Did somebody just ask if domestic violence still exists? Yes, it is trending in our society today and very disheartening that despite several laws, committees, unions and activism against domestic violence, it still occurs.

The intention of this post is to bring to the society more awareness of domestic violence. Therefore, 6 myths about domestic violence have been compiled by me. Domestic violence is not limited to these myths but it is a start.

No No No

Women are not animals. Women deserve the best as same as the opposite sex and they must not be treated like trash. In recent times, feminists have campaigned against gender inequality. Also, international organizations such as the United Nations have declared the equality of all human beings. Article 1 of the UDHR, (Universal Declaration of Human Rights), states that “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood”

Regardless of what a woman’s offense might be, no man has the right to take laws into their hands and discipline her except in self defense.

Who says

Domestic violence happens around the world in underdeveloped, developing and developed countries. Regardless of people’s age, gender, race or religion, they can still be abusers. There are many rich people that are abusers and also abused. Therefore, we shouldn’t assume domestic violence affects only the poor. The rich woman next to you might be a victim of domestic violence.

Every family has their secret

Domestic violence shouldn’t be a family secret. It is a criminal act, asides the legal aspect, it can lead to health problems including death of any party. Abuse of any form should not be tolerated. We must learn to seek help when abused as soon as we can. Although, some victims are to afraid to speak up and some cannot even tell they are victims. We as family and friends should try our best to help those we think might be abused.

It is not easy

Some victims are afraid to leave abusive relationships because of the stigma it brings. We should try and understand the reasons why our loved ones are staying and try to help. For example, some victims stay back because of financial issues, we can offer financial assistance if possible. Some victims may also be offering from Stockholm syndrome, while others might not want kids to be in broken homes. There are a number of reasons victims choose to stay in toxic relationship. We have to try and help when we can, to the best of our abilities.

It is wrong

Responding to violence with violence should only be for self-defense. Some persons believe in the law of retaliation which says “an eye for an eye…a tooth for a tooth”. It is also a biblical term that can be found in scripture, Exodus 21: 23-25 states, “But if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.” Leviticus 24: 19-21 affirms to this, “Anyone who injures their neighbor is to be injured in the same manner: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. The one who has inflicted the injury must suffer the same injury.”

However, Jesus condemned the use of retaliation and says that if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other cheek for them.

Religion should not be the excuse for domestic violence.

They can be abused

Both men and women can be victims of domestic violence. One study found that 40% of domestic violence victims are men.

In our society today, most men are ashamed to be seen as victims of domestic violence. They have the weight of being a “man” among their peers that they are too ashamed to come out as a victim. I advise men to also seek help when they can.

In summary, domestic abuse still occurs, there is no excuse for it.

Kindly drop down your opinion or advice about domestic violence, we never know who we are saving.

Thanks for stopping by and don’t forget to share.

References

HELPING YOUR CHILD BUILD A CAREER

After the birth of a child, the roles parents play in the life of the children is activated up until the child becomes an adult and is capable of making reasonable and quality decision.

These roles are biological, social, psychological, financial dimensions. Amongst all these, parents are responsible for preparing their children for their future. However, one way of doing this is by helping to shed light and directions as to the child’s choice ofcareer. Parents serve as a major influence in their children’s career development and career decision- making.

This could be done by the following suggestions:

-Ensure that there is a strong relationship between you and the child, as this would allow the child relate with you on such issues. This will enhance a good understanding of the child, therefore, as a parent you will understand the child interests and observe the child’s passion.

– Avoid over indulgence in the child’s life. Yes, it is good to interfere in the activities of the child, however, it over indulgence might make the child withdraw in certain areas. Note that every human loves to be free.

– Give the children independence, let them know what it means to be independent.

– Listen to child and avoid imposing your point of view on the child.( it is the direction that is required).

– Advise the child on decisions made by them and not commanding the child and and imposing their own goals on to the child or seeing their child’s accomplishments as a reflection on themselves.

-Support the child’s decisions. Shooting down the child decision outrightly would discourage the child.

I do hope the few point would help you now or in the nearest future x