Tag Archives: abuse

CHILD ABUSE: The four main types

Child abuse is a harmful infliction of pain on a child, this pain can be inflicted by parents, teachers, care givers, family members and so on. According to Article 1 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the child, the convention defines a child as persons up to the age of eighteen. Child abuse may take different forms on a child, however, some persons are victims of more than one type of child abuse.

While growing up, I have been a victim to more than one of the types of child abuses, some were not intentional while some were intentional. Passing through the phase had its negative and positive impact in my life. I believe a lot of children have experienced one form of child abuse or the other.

According to the Centers for disease control and prevention, the types of child abuse are as follows:

  1. Physical Abuse: I presume this is the most common type of child abuse especially in developing and underdeveloped countries. The administrators of this type of abuses are ususally under stress or mental problems, employment/financial issues, have a history of abuse, etc, therefore, pouring out their frustration on innocent children. In addition, this type of abuse coud be administered by parents, teachers, school prefects, neighbors or any older person. This type of abuse includes torturing, excessive hitting or slapping, severe punishments, withdrawing the child from eating or sleeping
  2. Sexual Abuse: This is having sexual relations of any kind wih a child. This can be by touching seductively, penetration, watching illegal sexual contents, telling them dirty stories or jokes and so on. In this type of abuse, it is difficult to identify who to blame, either the parents for uneducating their children about sexual topics or for exposing them to neighbors or the perpetrators themselves for taking advantage of the child or the government for not providing enough protection for children or for not creating awareness about the rights of a child to fight against such act. It is not unheard of for parents to sexually abuse their children. If you are interested in more details about child seual abuse, I have a full blog post on child sexual abuse here.
  3. Emotional Abuse: This is a constant disregard for a child by using horrible words on them and making them feel worthless, unvaluabe and unloved. This can happen by mocking a child, Ignoring a childs participation, silent treatment, frequently yelling at a child, telling them they are mistake and of no good in life, bullying, preventing them from socializing with peers, makin the feel guilty and so on. Although, It usually does not start with one, it then becomes problematic when repeated severally. In this type of abuse, I presume the parents or abusers either lack the right parenting style, undergoing mental stress, use hard drugs, etc.
  4. Neglect: This is when a parent or care giver fails to meet up with the psychological, physical or nutritional needs of a child, which coud affect their health or development. This includes leaving a child alone to experience loneliness or harm, locking the child up in a room like a prisoner, not providing the basic needs of the child such as food, clothing, education and shelter.

It is important to note that you as an adult may be guilty of these acts in one way or ther other. We should always know that there are other ways to discipline or treat a child when they misbehave. The mental health of a child is very important.

Ways we can help are as follows:

  • Creating awareness for your children or student about appropriate and inappropriate behaviors such as sexual discussions. Teaching a child to know when to feel safe around a man and when not to.
  • Teaching a child how to seek help and knowing emergency contacts numbers off hand.
  • Open communication with your child is important, make the child feel comfortable around you, as this will make it easier to spot if anything unusual happens.
  • Adequate security is important in a family, making sure that the home is safe for a child especially when they will be left alone in the house.
  • Parents and care-takers should endevour to monitor their child/ children but be care not to over-encroach their personal space. It is important to know where they are, what they do, and who their friends are.
  • Having good relationship with people around you, especially people who look after your child/ children such as their teachers, carers, friends or parents of friends. This will always come useful in grooming and protecting a child in the best way.

Having said all that, I do hope you have learnt one or two things about child abuse as a lot of children are going through one or all of these types of abuses. Help a child.

Feel free to share so as to create awareness about child abuse, also feel free to drop your opinions or experiences in the comment section.


MYTHS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Did somebody just ask if domestic violence still exists? Yes, it is trending in our society today and very disheartening that despite several laws, committees, unions and activism against domestic violence, it still occurs.

The intention of this post is to bring to the society more awareness of domestic violence. Therefore, 6 myths about domestic violence have been compiled by me. Domestic violence is not limited to these myths but it is a start.

No No No

Women are not animals. Women deserve the best as same as the opposite sex and they must not be treated like trash. In recent times, feminists have campaigned against gender inequality. Also, international organizations such as the United Nations have declared the equality of all human beings. Article 1 of the UDHR, (Universal Declaration of Human Rights), states that “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood”

Regardless of what a woman’s offense might be, no man has the right to take laws into their hands and discipline her except in self defense.

Who says

Domestic violence happens around the world in underdeveloped, developing and developed countries. Regardless of people’s age, gender, race or religion, they can still be abusers. There are many rich people that are abusers and also abused. Therefore, we shouldn’t assume domestic violence affects only the poor. The rich woman next to you might be a victim of domestic violence.

Every family has their secret

Domestic violence shouldn’t be a family secret. It is a criminal act, asides the legal aspect, it can lead to health problems including death of any party. Abuse of any form should not be tolerated. We must learn to seek help when abused as soon as we can. Although, some victims are to afraid to speak up and some cannot even tell they are victims. We as family and friends should try our best to help those we think might be abused.

It is not easy

Some victims are afraid to leave abusive relationships because of the stigma it brings. We should try and understand the reasons why our loved ones are staying and try to help. For example, some victims stay back because of financial issues, we can offer financial assistance if possible. Some victims may also be offering from Stockholm syndrome, while others might not want kids to be in broken homes. There are a number of reasons victims choose to stay in toxic relationship. We have to try and help when we can, to the best of our abilities.

It is wrong

Responding to violence with violence should only be for self-defense. Some persons believe in the law of retaliation which says “an eye for an eye…a tooth for a tooth”. It is also a biblical term that can be found in scripture, Exodus 21: 23-25 states, “But if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.” Leviticus 24: 19-21 affirms to this, “Anyone who injures their neighbor is to be injured in the same manner: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. The one who has inflicted the injury must suffer the same injury.”

However, Jesus condemned the use of retaliation and says that if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other cheek for them.

Religion should not be the excuse for domestic violence.

They can be abused

Both men and women can be victims of domestic violence. One study found that 40% of domestic violence victims are men.

In our society today, most men are ashamed to be seen as victims of domestic violence. They have the weight of being a “man” among their peers that they are too ashamed to come out as a victim. I advise men to also seek help when they can.

In summary, domestic abuse still occurs, there is no excuse for it.

Kindly drop down your opinion or advice about domestic violence, we never know who we are saving.

Thanks for stopping by and don’t forget to share.

References